3 Ways to Break Down Barriers and Get to Yes with Natalie Benamou

We all have barriers that can be blocking us from moving forward. This week on HerCsuite™ Radio, you will hear from host Natalie Benamou as she shares her personal experiences both with members of HerCsuite™ Accelerate Mastermind and some life lessons along the way.

This week in Accelerate Mastermind, a member gave a quote that I have been obsessing about. It is a profound idea, about removing the barrier that is in our way.

“Keep knocking on the front door. If there is a bodyguard, go to the back door and get around the bouncer.”- Madeline Onumbu, Member HerCsuite™ Accelerate

Assess Your Barriers

What door have you been knocking on and feeling like there is no way through? If there is one thing I hope you remember from this podcast it is there is always a way. Doors close, and situations seem impossible. There is always a way to YES.

Here are some of the most common barriers that stop us: time, effort, fatigue, fear of failure, actual failed attempts…you fill in the blanks.

Personal Story

Now I want you to close your eyes. Think back to a time you went to a concert. Imagine the bouncers at the door and thinking there was no way to make it to the front of the line and meet the artist. And something magical happened. You were whisked to the front of that crowd, ushered in and could sit down and ask any question you wanted. Meeting that star transformed your life. It can happen!

I have had the amazing opportunity in my life to be at many stage doors. My oldest daughter is a creative writer and musical theater performer. We went to so many shows, stood in lines at the stage door…waiting for that moment. Usually, the shows were mostly ones she really wanted to see. Until Al Pacino had a show on Broadway. Anyone who knows me, has an inkling that the star of The Godfather…on Broadway? I thought–We have to GO!. AND STAGE Door.

As it turned out, his show was not a hit. In fact, many in the audience got up and walked out before intermission. What?? Yes. I had never seen this before. And I saw that moment as an amazing gift. I thought…less people at the stage door! There is an art to going to the stage door and getting to meet someone. It comes down to timing. As people were leaving, my brain was laying out a plan.

That night, after the show, my daughter and I used all of our techniques to get to that stage door. We were still 2nd row, but close enough to have a chance to meet him. I had hope. This was going to be incredible! Al Pacino walks out. I am ready…standing on my tip toes. Then it happened. This super tall guy elbows me in the neck! I bend over and he moves in and gets the autograph.

Getting Stopped in Our Tracks

This can happen to anyone… Even if we prepare. We are ready to move ahead. We still will get thrown off our game. I am sure a situation is coming to you right now of having an unexpected surprise happen to you.

What Happens Next Matters

Do you let that one moment throw you off or use it to propel you forward? I have to admit that because of our frequent visits to shows, I became friendly with the bodyguards at the stage doors on Broadway. That night, I waited until everyone cleared out. I walked up to the bodyguard and struck up a conversation. Before concluding, I told him what happened. He said, “you come back tomorrow night. I got you. I will make sure you meet him.”

Upside to the Story

True to his word, the next night, I arrived right before the show ended and that bodyguard gave me first position next to the door. Out comes Al Pacino. I met him. I got my photo! Funny final note-the photo—was not perfect. My memory? I met “Michael Corleone” in person. Priceless.

Your Stage Door

Circling back to your stage door, the bodyguard in your way and how you get in. I hear over and over from women– I am more than qualified to move forward. No matter what I do, I am stuck at Director. On the flip side, companies tell me, we only have so many Vice President positions available.

The Double Bind

This story matters not only to you but to your company because for every woman promoted to Director, two leave. That is 67% brain drain with one promotion.*
Women want to get promoted. Companies do better with women in leadership. There are a limited number of spots for them to move forward. How is it possible to make it work out?

3 Ways to Remove Barriers:

1. Remove negative self-beliefs. Ask yourself what ideas about yourself are you holding to be true that are in your way? Push back on any misconceptions you have in your brain. They don’t matter. What does matter is believing anything is possible. Because it really is.
2. Assess all the options and be ready to move forward. Ask questions, be curious. Find someone who has walked through the door before you. What did they do? Was it timing, connections, or ability? Look for the secret way in.
3. Strategically form alliances. In business, this could be an executive sponsor who will advocate for you. Before presenting to the board, or senior leaders, make sure you are on the agenda and socialize your information before the meeting. In your personal life, surround yourself with people who will shout your name in a room of opportunities

“You deserve a VIP pass through the front door. I believe all women should have that red carpet runway to their future. You have exactly what you need to move past the bodyguard and go through whatever door is open to you. I believe in you. You Got This!”- Natalie Benamou

Thank you for spending your time with me today.  This program is sponsored by HerCsuite™ Accelerate Program. Opening Doors to Your Future. 

Schedule a call to talk about what you need to break through barriers.

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Keep shining your light. The World Needs You.